understanding in married life
One of the most important things that is always necessary for the success of a marriage is to have understanding in married life. Understanding means accepting each other’s differences and understanding them. The root of the main problems in married life is the lack of understanding, which makes couples face many challenges.
But in most cases, people confuse understanding with agreement. Do you also suffer from such a mistake? Do you think understanding can be taught? Or do you know how important understanding is in married life? Stay with us until the end of the article to find the answers to the questions.
Definition of understanding in common life
The existence of understanding in married life does not mean that husband and wife do not have any problems with each other. Some people believe that if they are of the same opinion with the other person in terms of culture, religion, politics and other things, that means they have an understanding. If this is not the case. In fact, understanding can be understood from two perspectives.
Understanding means the ability to understand and tolerate differences. Not everyone thinks the same, so differences are natural. If you accept the opinion of the other party and have the ability to tolerate differences in your life together, you will find peace in your life with your spouse and it can be said that you have a successful marriage.
From another point of view, understanding means to understand and is complementary to the first one. Therefore, it can be said that understanding between husband and wife means understanding the personality of the other party and also understanding one’s own personality.
The importance of understanding in marriage
It is better for girls and boys to talk about some issues such as beliefs, religious beliefs and even marital issues before marriage and during engagement and reach an understanding about them.
There are people who do not care about the existence of understanding in their life together before marriage. So they enter into a joint life without understanding and thinking that love alone is enough for marriage and all issues will be solved after marriage.
Of course, these differences may be ignored in the first days due to emotional and sexual pleasures. But with the passage of time, the beginning of problems, disagreements and differences become apparent and destroys the intimate and emotional space. The cause of this issue is undoubtedly due to the lack of proper knowledge of husband and wife.
One of the benefits of having knowledge and understanding is that when husband and wife are angry and arguing, they can talk to each other in a friendly atmosphere based on their knowledge of each other. In these situations, if men see that their wives know them well, they will relax and talk to her in a friendly manner.
But if they feel that the other party does not understand them properly, they will show inappropriate behavior. On the other hand, men also have the duty to know the characteristics of their wives well. As a result, women get to know each other better by showing their inner personality and being honest in speech and behavior. Therefore, it is necessary for husband and wife to reach an understanding on various issues and then start their lives. conflict in a relationship
Important topics for understanding in married life
Among the issues in which understanding is necessary and necessary, the following can be mentioned.
1- Religious beliefs
It is better for husband and wife to agree on religious beliefs before marriage. For example, they should agree on issues such as the other party’s type of clothing and hijab, praying and fasting, and set boundaries for themselves in these areas. marriage counseling christian
2- Political and moral beliefs
Being of the same opinion in the field of ethics and politics is also one of the important things to have understanding in married life. The closer the couple’s views on political issues are, the better their lives will be. Because having different opinions about them can have negative effects on the relationship between husband and wife.
3- Financial issues
Today, managing and spending money is very important. It can be said that if the couple does not reach an understanding about it before marriage, it may have bad effects. Because the root of many disputes is caused by financial problems.
4- Raising children
Raising children is also one of the things that are important in a joint life, and couples should have common thoughts about it.
5- Duties of husband and wife towards each other
In the pre-marriage talks, it is necessary to define the duties of the husband and wife towards each other in their joint life. So that each of the parties knows what duty he has in front of his wife and how they can reach an understanding in married life from this point of view.
Reasons for misunderstanding with spouse
Various issues contribute to the lack of understanding in joint life, some of which are explained below:
1- Not understanding each other
Not understanding each other’s needs and desires is one of the reasons for differences in common life. The lack of understanding makes you not understand the reason for each other’s behavior and you cannot talk about them. Therefore, it is better to ask about your partner’s needs and encourage him to talk.
2- Inability to express feelings
One of the reasons for the lack of understanding in married life is that couples are unable to recognize and express their feelings. As a result, they cannot express their discomfort and concerns and face problems. If you are also struggling with such a problem and cannot express your feelings, it is better to seek help from a family counselor.
3- Not having self-confidence
If a person in a joint life feels that his wife does not understand him, anger, sadness and jealousy will form in him. These feelings reduce his self-confidence. Therefore, there will be no common words to speak between them.
4- Absence of common interests
One of the other reasons that cause lack of understanding in married life is that the husband and wife do not have any fun and common plans together. As a result, intimacy will not be formed between them and not paying attention to each other’s interests will cause incompatibility. Therefore, it is better for couples to get to know each other’s common interests and work together to achieve a better life.