Marital problems after the birth of a child
Being a parent can be both exciting and exhausting. For some, it can be one of the most important changes in their lives. Couples often decide to strengthen their family by having children to strengthen their bond. They believe that the birth of a child brings them closer together and brings warmth, intimacy and maturity to their relationship. However, having a child can be difficult even for the best of marriages. In this article, we have discussed marital problems after the birth of a child and how to manage this stage.
Marital problems after the birth of a child
A baby adds a new dimension to your life. You are no longer a couple, you are a family. The bond between some couples grows stronger and deeper as they respect each other’s new roles as parents. The more you share the experiences of raising a child, the closer you become to your partner. Your understanding and communication may improve over time.
But couples may suffer from lack of sleep, time constraints, fatigue, lack of free time, and issues related to work or finances. For experienced parents, things can be more challenging when older children demand more attention.
It will definitely be a learning curve for the first few weeks or months after the baby is born. With the right support and understanding, you can solve your problems. Of course, problems may start during pregnancy, it is suggested to read the article on the relationship between couples during pregnancy.
Why do marital relations change after the birth of a child?
New parents—both mom and dad—respond differently and adapt to new challenges.
Lifestyle changes: Before, your life has changed in terms of working with jobs, socializing, relaxing, doing weekend errands, and grocery shopping. Now your priorities change in feeding the baby, soothing him and doing their chores. Decreased time together: When more time is devoted to the child, couples often complain about not having enough time to talk to each other or feeling a lack of attention from the other. Regaining physical or sexual intimacy after pregnancy can also take time.
Increased financial responsibility: With a partner at home to take care of the child, increased expenses can sometimes put a strain on the relationship. It can have emotional implications from the loss of financial independence or increased pressure from a partner to support the family. All of these changes may change the dynamics of your marriage. marital problems after baby
Marital problems after having a baby
You and your partner may go through changes and relationship issues while achieving this new transition. Let’s take a look at some of the most common ones.
- Relationship problems caused by depression
Some women may experience postpartum depression. Emotional and physical changes can contribute to depression. New fathers may also experience symptoms of depression and anxiety. Changing roles as new parents, increased financial expenses, and social isolation right after a baby can also strain your relationship.
- Different styles of child rearing
Parents may have different opinions and ideas about raising a child. You may not agree on parenting, food, or even sleep. Love relationship rules that couples should follow
Often one parent may play the role of expert and undermine the other’s suggestions. It can also destroy the confidence of the other couple. These issues may lead to conflict between couples.
You may feel that the time you used to spend talking to each other has changed due to new responsibilities. Couples may reduce their communication due to lack of time and energy. Additionally, lack of sleep and fatigue can take away from the time you might want to spend together.
- Limited time or no pairs
Childcare and sleepless nights may drive parents apart. You may want to use the time you get after taking care of the baby to sleep and rest. In this case, the couple feels that the focus is only on the baby. You may miss weekends, camping trips, or nights out at your favorite restaurant.
5- Division of work and responsibility
Washing clothes, cooking and cleaning – pre- and post-baby tasks are the same. The difference is the lack of time and energy. Division of work and household responsibilities can be a source of arguments for new parents. This is not because your partner is not ready to help you, but because there is no connection between you.
- Disagreement with other family members
After the baby is born, your parents, friends, and other family members may offer support and advice. Some of their opinions and recommendations may not be acceptable to you, which is completely normal. But couples may argue over disagreements and involve their family members.
- Restore sexual intimacy
Emotional and physical changes may make sexual intimacy difficult for you. Women may be uncomfortable with sex because their bodies are recovering after giving birth. Also, breastfeeding can increase vaginal dryness and prevent sexual pleasure. Premarital counseling
8- Financial problems
With the arrival of a new baby, the costs increase. In a situation where one of the couple takes care of the child at home, the other can feel a lot of financial pressure. Although financial decisions require joint responsibility and discussion, they can sometimes cause tension. marital problems after baby
How to solve marital problems after the birth of a child?
Couples are usually looking for a way to solve their relationship problems after having a baby. Many couples opt for marriage counseling and almost all of them report an improvement in their relationship after the sessions. We have mentioned some points below. Try these tips to solve problems together.
Ask for help if necessary:
If your partner is experiencing symptoms of postpartum depression or anxiety, seek medical help.
Find common ground:
You are different people and differences of opinion are normal. Therefore, respecting each other’s point of view will help. Accept each other’s way of doing things and remember that doing things differently doesn’t mean the other person is wrong.
Keep communication open:
Open and honest communication can help. Try to make time for each other, listen to each other’s points of view and avoid criticism or blame. If you have an experienced family member around, leave the baby to them and give yourself some time. A short walk or a meal together can help you reconnect and bond with your partner.
Spend more quality time:
Yes, you may be short on time and energy, but make an effort to spend time as a couple. Do things you already enjoy doing – maybe it’s watching a movie or preparing a meal. Choose a time when your baby is well fed or sleeping, even if it’s just a few minutes. Finding time as a couple just to talk or cuddle can help relieve stress and fatigue.
Find the “I” tenses:
Don’t be shy to take some time off. You can spend some time away from your friends or do things that make you feel more relaxed. Don’t hesitate to take a break for yourself.
Divide tasks:
Sit down and discuss your needs with your partner. Divide the housework. If possible, stick each of your tasks on the fridge.
Just listen to the conflicting advice:
Sometimes, your friends and family may offer advice and guidance that you may not have asked for or disagree with their parenting ideas. However, if you disagree with anything, do so without creating tension. You can only listen to them, but put your opinion into practice.