Dependence on the family after marriage

What are the causes of family dependence after marriage?

Couples who have just started their married and joint life are certainly looking to start a life independent from their family, but there are couples who have a lot of dependence on their parents and cannot make decisions and even behave independently of their family and these thoughts and manage decisions well..

This also causes the amount of differences between couples to increase over time and even many people are constantly involved in fights and problems due to their high dependence on their own family after the start of their life together. so be with us

What is healthy and unhealthy dependence?

The meaning of healthy dependence is that when people need help to solve a problem or solve a problem, they honestly and clearly ask for this help from others, but if others give a negative answer to this request, they control their emotions and manage.. These people have peace in their relationships and can trust others well and express their feelings honestly.

If people who have an unhealthy dependency do not ask for help from others when they need it, they constantly need to be loved and need others to approve them, they do not want others to break them, and they constantly obey others and give ransom to others, these people cannot to make good decisions because they have doubts in their decisions and need to consult with others, especially their parents, these people have no control over their emotions.

Why do people depend on their parents?

In line with referring to the dependence on the family after marriage, we must say that people who have a lot of dependence on their family and parents are generally people who had a troubled family, these people consider their parents and family members to be safe and the environment outside the home to be unsafe. They think that the world outside their home and people who are not part of their family are full of lies and tricks.

People who have a lot of dependence on their family during decisions and polls, even if their family members make mistakes, they still do not come out from under the control of the family and accept their opinions. Couples who have a lot of dependence on their parents and even their family members cannot make decisions. They need the approval of their parents in every decision even in their life together.

Even though the support of their parents is small, these people consider this support very big. The dependent people also have little self-confidence and become aggressive whenever they are criticized.

In general, the degree of dependence of some couples is such that they even share the personal issues they have with their spouses with their parents and family, and this can also affect the quality of their life together, and all these are examples of the unhealthy dependence of some couples on It is their parents and family.

Causes of family dependence after marriage

As we said, the degree of dependence of people on their parents is mostly formed during their childhood and it is due to their parents’ upbringing. In the following, we are going to point out some parents who have caused dependence in their children with the wrong upbringing style.

Dependent parents

Generally, parents who are dependent on their family members also repeat this cycle in the upbringing of their children in a way that causes their child to become dependent and keep him/her by their side all the time.

Parents dependent on their children are generally people who are anxious and do not consider the outside environment safe, they constantly threaten the child not to go outside the house and stay at home.

In adulthood and even after marriage, this child becomes dependent on the family due to this incorrect parenting style of the parents, and even in his married life, he becomes dependent on decision-making and consultation with his parents and family members.

Parents who reduce self-confidence in children

One of the causes of dependence on the family after marriage is being mocked and humiliated by parents and family members. This can also cause the child to do anything in adulthood to be ridiculed by others, and this is considered foolish by them. It seems that this is the reason why he does not have the courage to make decisions independently and decisively and tries to get help from his parents and family members for everything. Marriage counseling

In general, this person is not responsible and leaves the responsibility of his decisions and duties to others, especially his parents and family members.

Controlling parents

Parents who have control over their child and do not allow the child to face problems and challenges on his own even in adulthood and youth and make decisions for himself and plan his life independently also cause the person in any kind of Decisions and work depend on his parents.

After marriage, these people inform their parents first when making decisions, and their parents have control over the individual who has formed an independent family even after marriage.

Parents who do not raise their children responsibly

Unfortunately, some parents assume that they love their child too much and assume all the responsibilities of the child themselves and do not take responsibility for him in any way. Supposedly, they even arrange the child’s personal room by themselvesYeff completes the child themselves and…

These behaviors on the part of the parents are due to the fact that their child does not fail and does not endure a lot of hardship in the case that this child in adulthood also expects from the family due to the incorrect parenting style of his parents that he does not have to carry out any duties alone and this family There are those who must fulfill his duties.

Therefore, this dependence on the family has gradually increased and continues to exist even after marriage, so that a person does not take any responsibility towards his wife and children.

Characteristics of family members after marriage

Inability to say no

One of the signs of family dependence after marriage is that a person cannot say no to the wishes of others, especially his parents and family members, and in this way he expects his wife not to say no to the wishes of his family and to understand their wishes.

Worrying about the family’s discomfort

One of the signs of family dependence after marriage is that these dependent people are constantly worried that their actions and decisions will upset their family.

Therefore, when making decisions in their life together, in order not to upset their families, he consults them and acts according to their wishes and tries not to act against their parents’ opinion.

Basically, there is often a difference between the opinions of a person’s parents and the opinions of his wife, and it causes:

The person who is dependent on the parents also experiences tension, and instead of solving this conflict, sometimes the person tries to hide the issue so that none of the parties will be upset, while this also causes the opacity and differences between the parents and his wife. Browse more

Unable to make decisions

As we mentioned, people who are dependent on their family cannot make good decisions and their decision-making power is low, that is why they constantly have doubts when making decisions, and when they can be completely sure of their decision, others, especially their parents and family members, also confirm this decision

Spending too much time with family

Family dependent people generally spend more time with their family than with their spouse, since these people can’t bear to be separated from their family, even after marriage, they spend most of their free time with their family.

Sometimes this dependence reaches such a level that there is ambiguity between the man and the woman, and the person who is dependent on the family secretly communicates with his family, which can gradually reduce the quality of the emotional and marital relationship of the couple and cause suspicion. and emotional divorce between couples. Signs of a woman in love

Many phone calls with family

Generally, one of the other characteristics of family-related people after marriage is that they are in contact with their parents and families at every moment and every hour and try to share all the events of the day and all the currents with them. and differences between couples and it is necessary to talk to a psychologist and deal with this issue by benefiting from couple therapy sessions or individual counseling.

Treatment strategies for family dependence

It is very important to give importance to your dependent spouse and try to strengthen their self-confidence so that they feel better about their decisions and thoughts.

Companionship and help from his wife and not comparing him with others can help the dependent person to work harder to maintain independence in his personal and marital life by knowing his personality. Perhaps the best and most important way to treat dependence on the family after marriage is to refer to individual counseling or family counseling.