Depression after breaking up with a boyfriend
If you have reached this article by searching for the phrase “depression after breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend”, you are probably one of the victims of depression after breaking up. Depression after separation does not always occur immediately after the end of the relationship, so it is possible that you have this type of depression but you are not aware of it. It is suggested that you read this article even if you do not have this problem so that you can look at your relationships and those around you with more knowledge.
Communication with the opposite sex is rooted in human instinct, but acting purely on instinct and based on feelings in relationships and after the end of the relationship will bring many problems.
What is depression after breaking up with a boyfriend?
Sadness, loneliness, regret and shame are among the feelings that people experience after the end of a relationship or emotional failure. This feeling is normal in the short term, but if it lasts for a long time or increases in intensity, it is considered post-breakup depression. why am i sad when i broke up with him
Causes of depression after separation
Depression after separation can have several reasons, which will be mentioned below:
Uncertain future after separation
can i fall in love again
If I stay alone forever?
Can I find one like that?
Can I go back to that relationship?
Worrying about the future after separation is one of the factors of depression after separation. In these situations, a person experiences many negative emotions. You should be aware that these feelings are completely normal and have nothing to do with your ex or the person you were in a relationship with. This feeling of worry is rooted in you. Worrying about the unknown future will have many effects on you, such as the fear of establishing a relationship with a new person or the fear of remarrying, because at the same time you want to create new and good things for yourself, you are afraid because of your bitter experience.
Damaged pride after separation
Being abandoned, rejected and forgotten will make you feel frustrated and ultimately damage your pride. Here, “pride” does not mean narcissism or the feeling of self-conceit that some people confuse with pride, but rather your feeling of worth and sometimes self-confidence. In fact, part of the pain and discomfort you are experiencing is because of your pride being hurt, not just heartbreak. v
Shut down life
One of the effects of depression after a breakup is a decrease in your concentration. In this way, your power of analysis, separation and accuracy will decrease and you may make many mistakes. Such as filling out a form incorrectly, leaving things behind, forgetting appointments or things that you used to do on a regular basis at certain times. This issue should not cause you to abandon your work and life after the breakup and spend the whole day blaming yourself, reminiscing and grieving.
Those who suffer from perfectionism have a harder time at this stage because perfectionist people are able to shut down the entire work and blame themselves for it if a part of the work does not go well. Thinking too much about a problem causes it to become bold in your mind and you will find yourself powerless to solve it.
Lack of support from family and friends
You also sentences like
How much did I tell you?
Did you see I told you…?
If you would listen to me… It couldn’t be like that
You did the same thing that Volte did
And have you heard a thousand jokes and other bitter reminders from your family and friends? Unfortunately, hearing these sentences will only increase the feeling of shame and humiliation and grief. It doesn’t matter what the thought and purpose is behind these words. Compassion, benevolence, preventing a repeat of the mistake, or anything else will not change how bad it makes you feel to hear these words.
Decreased self-confidence after a breakup
Am I not beautiful enough?
Am I not attractive enough?
Maybe I want too much and I deserve the same, shouldn’t I have asked for more?
He used to say, “You are so……………..and you can’t do it at all…” With all these problems, I can’t have any successful relationship.
Abandonment, brittleness, destructive conversations during the relationship or when angry and ending the relationship, the reaction of the family and surrounding people in the face of your separation from your love have a great effect on reducing your self-confidence. Because it intensifies the feeling of disappointment, humiliation and worthlessness in you.
How to overcome depression after breaking up with a boyfriend
The good news is that post-breakup depression can last up to six months, after which it resolves on its own. If your symptoms of depression are mild, overcome it with self-care and a good support system, but if your symptoms are serious and you feel that you cannot overcome it alone, be sure to visit a psychoanalyst and discuss your problem with him to be treated. .
In this section, the most important parts of overcoming depression after separation will be mentioned:
Accepting the status quo after separation
It is important to realistically tell yourself the existing situation and accept it with all its pleasantness and unpleasantness, then start making decisions.
For example, your boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-wife told you that he loves you and will stay with you forever, but at some point in your relationship he ignored you and committed betrayal. Premarital counseling
The important point here is that they have betrayed their promise, so you can’t say that he is very fond of me and wants to be with me forever and finally blame yourself for not giving him another chance or return. Hope for your relationship after breakup. Rather, decide about him as someone who does not love you and has no commitment to you. related content : Teaching the skill of saying no for teenagers
A realistic review of shared memories after a breakup
The human mind tends to review positive events, so it is natural to think more about your sweet shared memories than the negative ones, but you should not let the swelling of sweet shared memories after a breakup cause you to doubt your decision or ignore the intruding mistakes of your boyfriend or girlfriend. Be your girlfriend. All the events that happened between you should be as effective as they are in your decision.
Give yourself time
After the death of a person, a memorial and mourning ceremony is held for him for a long time, also the mental state of the survivors is bad for a while and this is completely accepted by the people. But in relation to separation from a person, it is still not accepted that getting rid of depression after separation, acceptance of separation does not happen quickly, and you should not blame yourself for prolonging this process and consider it a kind of weakness.
Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to mourn, grieve, cry, reminisce and finally accept the breakup. You should not take the opportunity to mourn the breakup to show your strength to the person you broke up with or to make the breakup trivial.
Set goals for yourself after the breakup
It is necessary to give meaning to your life and create new motivation and concern for yourself so that you think less about past memories. Setting a goal adds to your sense of worth and increases your self-confidence and hope in life.
Talk to someone you trust after the breakup
Talking to a therapist is known to be one of the safest conversations, which has a therapeutic aspect, but if you want to let someone know about your situation or depression after a breakup, it must be someone you trust who can help you in your recovery process, not someone who is destructive and sarcastic. which was mentioned above will disrupt your recovery process.
Contrary to the public opinion that family members are safe conversation partners, you should keep in mind that the generation difference and lack of understanding may show reactions to your narrative about your relationship that will have a bad effect on your mood or give advice that will make your situation worse.
Decisions after separation
Here it is necessary to mention an important point, and that is the decisions you make after breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse:
If after the separation decisionIf you have decided to marry or start a relationship with a new person or even a previous person, please think more about your decision and give yourself time to make sure that the decisions are not emotional.
Most people’s reasons in their relationships and marriages after separation are emotional and out of anger; In such a way that to prove their desirability or to show the insignificance of the finished relationship or early forgetting of the previous person, they immediately decide to get married or enter into a new relationship.
Because of the difficult conditions that loneliness has created for them after separation, some get married or enter into a new relationship to escape from loneliness, which they would not have made this decision under normal circumstances.